You Can Get Real Peace of Mind During This Troubling Time
When you find your self in an unplanned pregnancy situation, you likely feel confused, frustrated and frightened. Here are three quick tips to help you feel a lot better, and quickly!
First, share your burden with a trusted confidante (other than the father). This person may be one or both of your parents, an older brother or sister (this shared burden may be too much for a younger one). It may be a pastor, priest, or bishop. The most important thing is to find someone to help you share this burden who will give you wise, mature counsel without coming unglued over the situation.
If you have a decent or good relationship with a parent, they are often the best choice because they already love you, and they care about your happiness and future. They can offer daily physical and emotional comfort, and will understand your needs and moods better than anyone. Tell them about your unplanned pregnancy. Chances are, you’ll be really glad you did.
If your relationship with your parents rules them out as a support, then we believe the next best confidant is your local clergy leader. Again, they will have wisdom, and are likely to be far more helpful than judgmental. Additionally, most of them have a strict confidentiality rule, which means that they are not likely to tell anyone else.
Friends might be an option, but be careful. Friends sometimes don’t have the long-term view and perspective you might need, and their advice is often as emotion-colored as your own thoughts are likely to be. Peer advice in this situation can often turn out to be wrong, and leave you facing the consequences of their counsel.
Finally, if you have no one else to turn to, we recommend that you call one of our kind, compassionate, and expert staff (24/7, toll-free, 1-855-40-ANGEL). Yes we are an adoption agency, but we welcome your call even if you are leaning towards a different path, or have no idea what path you’ll choose. We have been down this unplanned pregnancy road with literally hundreds of women just like you, and we truly understand, and can offer real help, comfort, and support.
Second, take care of your own needs. Eat properly, get enough sleep (there are sleep aids that won’t harm a baby — ask your doctor), and take time to just, well, BE. You need peaceful time to calm down, to think, and to pray, if that’s part of your lifestyle.
You can only make good decisions when you aren’t feeling awful. If you are morning-sick with your pregnancy, then identify what times or circumstances help you feel most normal, and do your thinking and decision making during those times. Decisions made while feeling physically awful usually end up being bad ones.
Third, understand that many people before you have been where you are – caught in an unplanned pregnancy. You’re in good company. All of you are good-hearted people who accidentally got into a situation that left them with hard, long-term consequences. They survived, and even thrived, and so can you! You will get through this experience just fine, as long as you follow tips one and two, above.
One final note: we, the founders of A Guardian Angel Adoptions LLC, are all adoptive mothers ourselves. We have a deep love and appreciation for surprised, unwed mothers like you, because women like you provided the children we have loved and raised as our children, and that experience has been precious to us. Even if you don’t choose to place your baby for adoption, we love you and care about you, because we live in this world with expectant women every day. You’ll do fine. Get the help, love and support you need, and call us if you need us.
–Lori, Yvonne, and Kim